I am a mental athlete. No, I don’t mean I’m crazy (although that could be easily argued), I mean that my mind can be my biggest supporter or my worst nightmare. My mind often determines if I am going to succeed or fail. It is one of my biggest challenges to overcome as an athlete.

I am generally a risk-adverse person. I over-analyze, over-think, and doubt just about every thought or decision I make. Despite being great at keeping myself alive, these tendencies are a hindrance for a lot of the other things I do, especially olympic lifting.

My nemesis for the day. #oly #crossfitgirls #LikeAGirl

A photo posted by Mandy Ferreira (@treading_lightly) on Mar 23, 2015 at 6:42pm PDT

 

If you’ve ever been about to pick up a bar loaded with more than you weigh and throw it over your head, you likely know what’s like to have your brain say “Wait! This is a bad idea!” at just the wrong moment.

One of my biggest challenges with lifting has been shutting up the voice in my head.

“This is heavy.” “What if I drop it on myself.” “I can’t do this.”

None of those things are going to help me reach my goal.

Three months ago I hit a snatch PR of 98lbs. The lift was clean. I felt good. My coach was adamant I could make 100lbs.

But I failed. Over and over and over again. I stopped performing the lift correctly. I panicked before I got the bar off the ground, and I baled as soon as the bar got close to my head (which means I definitely could have finished the lift).

Two pounds shouldn’t make that big of a difference. But standing there with my six month goal weight on the bar, I froze. It was too big. Too much. Too heavy.

I finally shut up that voice. I finally believed I could do it. I hit 100lbs. And I know I had more than that in me. 105 is well within my reach. And my goal of snatching my body weight isn’t looking so crazy anymore.

Finally hit triple digits. You missed it @inrc_ @zeroatlas #crossfitgirls #crossfit #oly

A video posted by Mandy Ferreira (@treading_lightly) on Apr 24, 2015 at 1:14pm PDT

Time to stop the negative talk, the second guessing, the panic and just freaking do it.

To say I was not prepared for this race was an understatement. I hadn’t run more than a 10k (let alone consistently run or train) in months. My longest run was five miles the weekend before where I complained the whooooole way.

Was I trying to make up for the height I lost standing in a hole with my hat?

I spent most of the week leading up the race worried. My feet were bothering me, so much so that I would dream about not being able to run at night. I wasn’t sure if I should even run. My mom had signed the three of us (herself, my brother, and me) up for the race months ago, and I couldn’t imagine not even crossing the start line. Especially since we were going to start at Crissy Field and run across the Golden Gate Bridge.

I decided to risk irritating my feet even more and run the race. I knew I could take a few weeks off and still have plenty of time to build my mileage up before I need to start training for my summer half marathon.

The weather was amazing. There were actually times when I wished I had worn shorts. Shocking for San Francisco, especially over the Golden Gate Bridge. We couldn’t have asked for better weather.

For the first mile and a half, I thought about stopping. My feet were killing me, and I couldn’t imagine running another 5 miles through it. Thankfully by the time we had reached the start of the bridge, my plantar fascia had warmed up and my calves had loosened. I started to settle into our slow and steady pace, and I stopped worrying about turning back before it was too late.

Someone’s excited

By the end of the race I was feeling pretty great. My brother decided we should push it for the last mile, so we did the nice thing and dropped our mother so we could pick up the pace (sorry, mom!).

In hindsight, it wasn’t my best decision, but I don’t think I would give a different answer if I could go back. I desperately needed to feel the speed of my legs. I needed to know that I still had it in me to drop below an 8 minute mile. I needed to know I still had a kick in me. That I still had the ability to push through, even when I want to stop and throw up.

And push it we did. We dropped our pace from an average 11 minute mile to a 9 minute mile for mile 6. For the last quarter mile, I gave it everything I had to pull off a 6:25. I can’t put into words what that final kick felt like. My legs were strong and I was flying. I wanted to throw up and smile at the same time (it was confusing).

When we finally crossed the finish and started to run around I knew the pick-up (and especially the final kick) had done me in. My calves and arches were protesting, and they continued to bother me for a few days after.

But I don’t regret it at all. It actually gave me hope for this summer’s half marathon and my time goals for the year. It reminded me that I was not always an injured runner. I won’t be injured forever.

In honor of Earth Day I wanted to give some quick, easy tips to minimize your impact today:

Are you doing anything special today?

I had some big milestones this week. I ran my first race since October (more about that soon). I completed my longest run in 5 months. And biggest of all, I hit over 1,000 all-time miles.

I know some people run 1,000 miles in a handful of months, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come. Between injuries, graduating from college, my first full time job, and everything else I’ve experienced in the last four years, 1,000 miles feels pretty damn good.

Here’s a sneak peek of yesterday’s race location.

By the numbers

Three CrossFit classes (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday)
One sweaty heated power yoga class
11.42 miles! (including a 10k race)
Lots and lots of PT, foam rolling, lacrosse balling, and stretching

My comeback is well on its way, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t setbacks. I’m taking a few days off running after yesterday’s race to give my poor feet a chance to catch up on healing and relax again. I was feeling pretty good, but a couple days before the race my plantar fascia started to bug me. After really pushing it for the last mile of the race, they deserve a break.

This “winter” (seasons are hard to define in Northern California, and often quite fickle) I have been mostly sticking to a limited “capsule-like” wardrobe. I have been following Unfancy and Project 333 through their capsule wardrobe adventures, and I decided to test the waters a bit.

I haven’t made full rules or set a limit to my wardrobe, but I have started to narrow my focus and consider what this could look like for spring/summer.

Unsurprisingly, one of my favorite parts of doing this has been taking a critical eye to the clothes in my closet and trying to figure out if they add value to my life, serve a necessary purpose, and make me feel good in them.

I love a good decluttering. It was fun for the first few items that I had been thinking about getting rid of for months, but it got a lot harder when I had to accept that some of the pieces I loved just didn’t fit my lifestyle or my body anymore (hello new muscles, it’s nice to see).

In preparation to laying out my spring capsule, I got rid of more than 20 pieces that were just taking up room in my closet. I sold five to a local used clothing store and donated the rest. (I was honestly disappointed about how little I was able to sell, but I learned some tips for next time and I’m glad to get everything out of my space!)

Do you ever have days where your body fights back? The whole end of this week was a long series of those days.

Monday

I switched up my week a bit and ran on Monday instead of my usual Tuesday morning. (Side note, getting to work on a Monday morning and immediately heading outside for a run is a great way to ease back into the week.)

Tuesday

My workout on Tuesday felt pretty good while I was doing it. Afterwards was a totally different story. My sore abs haunted me for the next four days. You heard me. Four!

Barbells are for getting stronger… and rolling out your tight, crunchy calves.

Wednesday

Because my run was switched to Monday, I went to CrossFit again on Wednesday. I’m a baby – CrossFiting two days in a row is not for me. So much whining, so little energy. And yet I still PRed my jerk. I failed once, and nailed it on my second attempt (and of course I didn’t take a photo or video because I didn’t think it was going to happen and too many people were staring at me). Since I PRed and all, I bailed on all of my extra work. All of it. No PT. Nothing.

Thursday

My abs were the most sore on Thursday. The good news is that I use my abs/core when I run.

Friday

I rarely think to myself “I’m going to quit. Let’s just quit right now. Just stop.” during a workout. But this workout was so horrible. Five minutes into the first set of exercises I wanted to just lie down. 10 minutes in and I could no longer hold onto things like a normal person (great time to climb ropes). Halfway through class I thought I was going to throw up (bonus points for not?). Then I was trying to talk myself out of passing out (that’s how it works, right?). I was the last one to finish. I went home feeling slightly nauseous and completely unsure why I didn’t just quit.

Saturday

Less than 24 hours after my last terrible workout I went for my longest run in months. Five miles felt like 13. I had to take walk breaks. I had to apologize to my running buddy for endless complaining. I rambled about how hard running is, how much my stomach hurt, how tired my legs felt, how cold it was, how hot it was. I talked endlessly. Sometimes to distract myself, other times because I couldn’t stop thinking about how miserable I was.

Which is ridiculous. I have waited so long to feel that miserable. I should have shut up and enjoyed it. (I didn’t, I complained about how five miles used to be so easy.) The voice in my head can be a total bitch.

Sunday

Records may have been broken for total time spent in bed. It was glorious.

Break down:

3 hours of CrossFit
1 solid PT session (I will do better next week!)
zero yoga (I did stretch outside of class…)
10.54 miles (Helloooooo double digits!!!!)

Handmade goods should be filled with love, not toxins. That’s why I wrote a piece for Rodale’s new magazine, Organic Life, on the best eco-friendly fabric options, what to look for, and where to find them.

Check the piece out and let me know what you think! What are your favorite eco-friendly fabrics for crafting?

My comeback is starting to feel awful real…

Monday

After months of squatting on and off (and feeling like I’m beating myself into the ground for no progress), I PR’d by back squat… and didn’t even notice. Despite the fact that I failed (twice) to get a squat I am fairly certain I can make , I still grabbed a new PR. I thought my PR was 5 lbs. more than it really was, and I didn’t notice it until days later. I followed up my frustrating failures with this painful workout that includes 1 min ring holds. Ouch!

My nemesis for the day. #oly #crossfitgirls #LikeAGirl

A photo posted by Mandy Ferreira (@treading_lightly) on Mar 23, 2015 at 6:42pm PDT

Tuesday

Someday I am going to be running 12 miles and be dreaming of the days I only ran 2 miles. Right now I’m dreaming about the 12 miles and trying to stay focused on how great it is I can run at all.

Wednesday

This was one of those days where I felt like I was unstoppable. I hit heavy snatches over and over again. My form for once felt fluid and strong. And I even started to really pull myself under the bar. I’ve since deleted the rest of the workout from my memory (after I finally stopped being sore 4-5 days later).

Thursday

2.5 miles. Boom.

Friday

Instead of doing 15.5 days after doing thrusters (HA, no thanks), I lifted on my own. It was great to work on some weaknesses and do my own thing. I did some front squats and clean drills. And then a ton of exercises for my hips and ankles.

Saturday

I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to do this run. On Friday my body decided to give me shooting pain through my right ankle with no warning or cause (that I can figure out). It continued throughout the day, and after sitting in traffic for an hour, I had to hobble out of the car.

But I woke up Saturday morning feeling pretty good and decided to try it. I figured I could turn around and walk if the pain came back, but instead I made it through my longest run in months. Hello four miles. I sure did miss you.

Sunday

After a busy day walking all over San Francisco, I took the day off from yoga (and even called it a “rest” day ; ) ).

Numbers:

Ran 9.01 miles. Killin’ it
More than 2 hours of feet, ankle, and hip strengthening, stretching, and loosening.
Total 0.5 lb. (delicious) containers of guacamole eaten by me: 1.75  (I don’t know who ate all the ice cream though. Definitely wasn’t me.)