It’s been six weeks since I destroyed my ankle (and much of my ability to have fun). For the first four I counted every damn day thinking that would somehow get me closer to being normal again.

When the doctor told me I would be out for 4-6 weeks, I mentally announced “I’ll be back in three.”

Hilarious!

The further into recovery I got, the more messed up everyone realized my ankle was. I didn’t just sprain one tendon, I did multiple. Ligaments? Got those too. High ankle sprain? Why of course. My physical therapist has been struggling to find a tendon/ligament/muscle attached to my ankle that I didn’t hurt. I’m nothing if not thorough.

I cried at four weeks when I got brave enough to ask when I would run (maybe 8-10 weeks after injury). On the drive home it sunk in that I wasn’t going to be running my half in February. I had to tell my boyfriend the half I (kindly) convinced him to sign up for as his first would also be the first one he would run alone.

Two weeks later, I don’t feel guilty anymore about something so far out of my control. I don’t feel pressured to run RIGHT NOW. It doesn’t matter when I can run anymore. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

My fitness is gone. Looooong gone. And it took with it more than five pounds of muscle that I wish I still had.

But that’s okay. It means I will start again. I will build my base – stronger than last time. I will likely get a running coach (when I can do the whole running thing again), and start a six month plan to a goal race in July.

And I’m really excited about that! No pressure, lots of time. Lots of help. Lots of love.

Week one flew by! It was so much easier to find things to get rid of than I was anticipating. I ended up doing most of the week on day two. Random things I had been hanging onto and unwilling to make decisions about in the past were suddenly easy to let go of.

I went through my “junk drawer” (really a wicker basket) and ended up cutting its contents nearly in half. I have a feeling I’ll end up getting rid of even more stuff in it later in the month.

The Minimalism Game is addicting. I can’t help myself. Every time I walk into a room I’m looking for the things I that don’t belong anymore. Unfortunately, I’m not just doing this at my house.

After seven days I already have a pile of more than 150 things to get rid of.

I’ve been pretty strict with myself in how I count so far. I don’t plan on continuing the Minimalism Game for the next few months. I want to make this month count.

Here are some of the guidelines I set for myself:

1. Paper is only 1 item whether it’s one piece or 100.
I don’t have much paper clutter, and it seems too easy to over-count it.

2. Small, like items are 1 item.
Pens, hair ties, binder clips – Anything easily bought in bulk that fits in one hand is one thing. (I could have done days 29 & 30 in hair ties and clips alone.)

3. Digital items can count, but not until the last week.
I want to clear some of my digital clutter, but I also don’t want this to be my safety net. I don’t have many files on my computer, but anything stored in the cloud is fair game. I’m using the like-item rule again here (see above). Photos (one to 1 million, doesn’t matter) = 1. Documents, PDFs, emails, each group is only one.

4. Food and other fast-consumables don’t count.
Five-year-old hair spray? Sure. Old milk? Not so much. I have teas and things that I’m trying to use up or give away to people who will enjoy them. For now, these are bonus items. I don’t want to count them because I have a feeling it will be too easy to clean out the fridge for a day where I should really be making tough decisions about my shoes. For now, if you can eat it or use it in less than a month, it doesn’t count.

5. No ejection seat.
The “official” rules call for removing each day’s items from your house (or car or office or Batcave) immediately.

That’s not happening.

It’s not convenient or time-efficient for me to drive to the donation center and used clothing store daily. Instead, trash and recycling (which I’m not counting anyways for the most part!) get the immediate boot. Donations and items I am planning to sell are all in one spot in my closet. I’m going to put items on eBay, Craigslist, and Freecycle weekly. All of my donations, including everything that doesn’t sell during the month, will be dropped off all at once in the first week of January.

This week I got rid of 28 items, which with my rules above, comes out to over 150 individual things.

I can’t wait for next week! I’m preparing to really dig in as it gets harder.

My November writing challenge where I wrote for 30 minutes each day went really well. So well that I forgot that November had ended and I didn’t have to do it anymore.

Spoiler alert, I’m doing it again in December.

In the beginning I had to leave myself notes and reminders everywhere to make sure I actually sat down and wrote. And once I did, it was a struggle to actually write for the full 30 minutes. I thought it would get easier, and there were some days that were, but in reality most days were a struggle. More often than not I was distinctly aware of the time and how little I thought I had to say.

What I learned

1. Thirty minutes is a long time.

2. Despite feeling like I didn’t have anything to say. More often than not once I started writing, it just kept coming. Now that the month is over, I do find it’s easier to sit down and write and I reach for my journal more often.

3. Writing is now a routine. There were a few days I forgot (Thanksgiving and the Friday after when I was traveling were among them), but overall it has become a habit that is just another part of my day. No reminders necessary.

4. I started to look forward to writing each day, even if actually getting words out felt like pulling teeth.

5. The first five and the last 10 minutes are the hardest. Don’t know why. Those middle 15 though… that’s where it’s at.

6. Some days I didn’t feel like writing. All of my words were used up at work writing emails or blog posts or scripts begging Adam Savage to come play with us. My brain would feel like cold oatmeal. But even on those days, I could still scrape out a little something (one day I wrote about how hard it was to write, another I wrote down every thought. For 30 minutes. It was interesting).

7. I still like writing. I was worried I would start to dread or resent writing just because I was forcing myself each day. So far, not true.

8. Gratitude lists are a great way to change your perspective on the day, and they make for a good five minutes. (Pro tip right there.)

9. Other people’s journals and methods are super interesting! On days where I wasn’t feeling inspired, I would look at pictures of other people’s journal entries. Austin Kleon is a definite favorite.

10. I’m pretty sure it’s good for me.

So much so that I’m going to keep the challenge going in December. This time I’d like to experiment more with the different ways I write. I will keep writing blog posts with some of that time, but I’d like to try Austin’s logbook style journaling and maybe throw in some writing prompts. I’m also considering allowing myself to doodle during that time, as long as it’s in my notebook and it somehow ties into words of some sort. I’m not a big doodler, so this doesn’t seem too dangerous. It’s more of a way to keep my mind engaged on the task at hand and try a new way to relax my mind enough to let some words slip out.

Between writing for 30 minutes and the Minsgame, it looks like it’s going to be a pretty busy month.

I’ve been thinking a lot about creativity and how to keep it around lately. A lot of my ideas about how to be more creative and how I foster my creativity are in flux, especially after reading all of these great books on creativity, but I thought I would put down what I’ve found to be true for myself so far.

1. It doesn’t have to be brilliant or totally bran-freaking-new to be interesting and worth my time.

2. You don’t always have it. Some days I can write and it feels like the words just flow out of me. I can feel them pent up inside, dying it to get out. Those are the best days, where I can’t stop the words. Some days I dig around and look between the couch cushions, but they just aren’t there.

3. You have to have somewhere to capture it. When I was growing up I always carried a journal around with me to scribble down ideas (or really awful poems that I desperately hope I never put on the Internet). Once I got a smart phone I dropped the journal, but it’s really not the same. If you like to draw, carry a sketchbook. If nothing else, it’s a reminder that maybe you should put something in it.

4. Just try. During my 30 for 30 challenge I realized just how much writing (or whatever pursuit you are into) has to do with trying. There are days where writing for 30 minutes requires me to write about how I have nothing to write about. Or to talk about what I did that day, even if it was quite boring. Or just list off random things that pop into my head because I promised I would write for all of those damn minutes that seem to stretch forever. And then all of sudden I’m writing and it isn’t hard.

5. Tell yourself to shut up. The voice in my head that’s always talking gets in the way. It scares my creativity and it leaves no room for actual thinking. You can let that voice whisper when you are editing, but not before that. There just isn’t room for bullying, self-doubt, or plain irritating chatter and creativity.

6. It’s not about the money. In college I thought I would support myself on writing. And to be fair, I do! But not on my creative, pour my heart out, following my passions writing. Big Magic made me feel better about it. Elizabeth Gilbert makes it clear that it’s unfair to expect you art to support you. That’s what your job is for. The writing I love is so much harder when it’s for someone else (and a check) than when it’s just for me and I don’t get any monetary reward for it.

7. It’s okay to be weird. It’s also okay to be boring. Let your freak flag fly – your work will be better for it.

8. Good habits can make or break you. In college I would tend to write my blog posts on the same days at the same time. My brain started to expect that we were going to sit down and write. It got easier. For a while. And then I make a new habit and we all get along again. Even something simple, like making a cup of tea before sitting down to write can make a difference for me.

9. Forget your parents are reading it. Forget your friends are seeing it. Forget the world has eyes. You’ll be fine.

10. Being awful is okay. Few people are good at anything when they are young. I keep trying to remind myself that it’s okay to not know what I want to do yet. It’s okay for my writing to yo-yo between being pretty terrible and mediocre. It’s all okay.

11. Just make it! If it interests you enough to sit through the making of it, it’s definitely worth doing. I always have excuses for why I shouldn’t write/make something. It’s ridiculous. I started listening to the She Does podcast, and it seriously struck me like I was rear-ended – every single one of those women had an idea and just went all in on it. That’s how they got to where they are. That’s why they are so damn cool. That’s what we should all do too.

I heard about the 30-Day Minimalism Game years ago, and I put it off for various reasons ever since.

Every once in a while I will browse #MinsGame on Instagram, and just seeing all of the things other people are getting rid of makes me feel more at peace. When I’m having a stressful day at work, I’ll spend a few minutes cruising through the pictures from around the world until I feel better.

It’s pretty clear I need to do the game myself. I already pretty much know what I’m getting rid of for the first week or so. I’ve picked out my donation center, a new store to try to sell some clothes to, and I finally remember my eBay password… I think.

I’m willing to get creative and get rid of digital clutter if I really truly run out of things, although the more I think about it, the more unlikely it seems that I will need to dive that deep. I have a whole garage hiding random things left behind from the last tenants.

January is right around the corner, and I’d love to start the new year with more space and without the constant desire to get rid of things.

Day 1 is done.

Want to join in? All you have to do is get rid of one thing on day one. Two on day two. Three on day three. And so forth until you hit day 31.

Are you in?

As kids we are taught to have a Christmas list where we put all of the things we even vaguely want, and they magically appear for us. We are never told about the debt many people accrue over the season or the environmental impact of all of the gifts that end up shoved in the back of our closets.

For months we are bombarded with ads that make the holidays look like some sort of shopping utopia. People often confuse the joy of the holiday season with the short excitement and anticipation they get from receiving new things and buying gifts for other people.

I want the holidays to be about spending time with my friends and family. I want sip on warm drinks under twinkling lights. I want to remember the laughs we had at the table and the time my mom made the turkey walk the plank. I want to put my feet up, grab my book, and relax during the shortest days of the year.

I feel sad when I drive past a packed mall parking lot and when I hear people talk about how stressful December is for them. The ads and the special packaging and the holiday cups and the “deals” seem to make us less and less happy with what we already have.

We’re missing the point. And it’s making us miserable.

When I first started actively pursuing less, I didn’t really know how to handle the holidays. I wanted a minimalist Christmas… but I didn’t even know what that meant. When faced with questions about what I wanted, I ended up only asking for things I needed. Which was great, but it didn’t solve the root of my problem.

I wish there wasn’t so much pressure to ask for things.

What if we don’t ask for anything? What if we don’t want anything?

My family is fully supportive of my efforts to reduce the amount of things I own and my impact on the world. They have thoughtfully given me amazing things like yoga classes or the entry fee for a race I’d like to do. They didn’t laugh at me when I asked for socks or a salad spinner. But my friends are a little less certain of what I’m doing, and I feel pressure to reciprocate with little things they probably won’t use either. At work we traditionally do a novelty t-shirt exchange, and I was torn between sitting out so no one would waste money on something I wouldn’t use and joining in on the office-wide fun. I opted to join in and instead ask for a poster that I could hang up at my desk (something that I will actually use that will have less of a carbon footprint than a t-shirt).

I’ve found that living with less is particularly challenging around the holidays. Relatives and friends are constantly asking what’s on your list. People give you funny looks or think you are being difficult when you say you don’t want anything. Really.

No one wants to be the Grinch.

But at the same time, being open and honest about what you really want (“I’d love to spend some time with you. What if we went out for coffee and a movie instead of exchanging gifts this year?”) makes everyone happier in the long run. People are buying gifts to bring joy to someone else. They aren’t trying to clutter your home or challenge your beliefs.

It’s uncomfortable at first, but the more I talk about it and the more I express what I really want, the happier I am (and hopefully my friends and family are too).

Comebacks are made of a bunch of little things done right.

I have to keep reminding myself of that. It’s the two minutes I set aside each day to do my ankle strengthening exercises. It’s the 30 minutes I spend each night dipping my ankle in and out of icy and hot water. It’s all of the things I know I can’t do that I don’t do.

I want to run. Desperately. I’m 11 weeks out from a half marathon, a half marathon I signed up for thinking I would come home with a PR. Now I’m questioning if I will even make it to the start line.

But all of the small things add up. I can’t run right now, but I can spend all of the time I would have spent running getting my strength back and helping the healing process. I can’t squat or snatch or clean right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get stronger or that I can’t lift.

The last time I was injured I was so focused on all of the things I couldn’t do that I was blindsided by all of the new things I could do. Just like last time, I am focusing on different muscles than I normally do and I am working hard to build a solid, healthy foundation so when my ankle is ready, the rest of my body will be prepared to run again too.

Frustration is still around every corner. I still cry about not being able to do what I want. I worry about how long this injury is taking to heal and about what lasting effects I might have in the future. But each thing I do right gives me a little more hope.

The worst is over. Now it’s just about staying focused and working on the little things.

This year I went on a bit of a creativity reading binge. Once I got started I just couldn’t stop.

I had been feeling a bit frustrated with my work and I could never seem to think about anything that interested me to write about. My to-read list was full of books on creativity and writing, so I naturally started to slowly dig into them.

They each opened up my mind in some way or changed the way I think about think creativity in one way or another.

Steal Like an Artist

This book sat on my list for well over a year. I thought it would be a little picture book about making physical art (like paintings or something). I had no expectations – And I annoyed everyone I knew while reading it. I was constantly pulling out quotes and forcing people to listen to me. I honestly made notes in my journal about what Austin Kleon said I needed to do. I’m still trying to incorporate his incredibly unique and inspiring journaling techniques into my boring notebooks. (I’m vaguely considering picking myself up one of these, but it feels a little too much like a diary I had in third grade… and it freaks me out). I definitely want to learn how to track my thoughts and the things I’m curious about like Austin does. Also, swipe file is genius. Thank you.

“Write the book you want to read.”

“If you have two or three real passions, don’t feel like you have to pick and choose between them.”

Creativity Inc.

Creativity Inc. by Ed Catmull gave me hope for the future. It reminded me that people all over the world have creative jobs that they love. But it’s still work. They still struggle and disagree with their boss and feel lost. Despite some initial disappointment that the book wasn’t more focused on personal creativity, I got a lot out of it.

“You are not your idea.” Criticism is okay, good even.

“I believe life should not be easy. We’re meant to push ourselves and try new things – which will definitely make us feel uncomfortable.”

“It takes such discipline – some people even call it practice – to turn off that inner critic in adulthood and return to a place of openness.”

“I’m a firm believe in the chaotic nature of the creative process needing to be chaotic. If we put too much structure on it, we kill it.”

“Don’t wait for things to be perfect before you share them with others.”

Ed reminded me to have confidence in myself and to not fight so hard. I’m always trying to make things perfect and control every outcome instead of just sitting back and experiencing what is happening to me or around me. Creativity is messy. Embrace it!

Big Magic

I’ve already had a lot to say about this book. So I’m going to just pull out the main things that I can’t stop thinking about.

1. Do not expect your art to support you. Some things are meant to just be enjoyable and free from money or pressure to perform.

2. Write every day. It’s actually where the idea for the 30 for 30 challenge came from.

Have you read something else that inspired you? Or enjoyed one of these books? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.