There are a lot of perks working at a startup. This morning we all bonded over the USA vs. Germany World Cup match. We crowded into our biggest conference room and worked while watching the game.

Working at Curious really reminds me of all of the great times I had working at the newspaper in college. It’s so nice to work with a great team. Especially when we can all yell at the TV together.

There are moments in life when you know you are exactly where you should be. You fit in. You are comfortable. It’s wonderful.

My first few kicks off the wall before I come up for a breath always reaffirm this for me. I feel at home in the water. Swimming makes me feel simultaneously graceful and powerful, a true rarity for someone who is as spastic and klutzy on land as I am.

I have always loved to swim, and I spent as much time as possible in the pool growing up. I started swim lessons before I had walking down solidly, and I still have strong memories of learning to swim. To this day I can still tell you my favorite suite (it was green with iridescent patches that I thought made me look like a mermaid while I was swimming) down to the shower curtains in the locker room (fish on a clear background, way cooler than anything we had at home).

While I always loved swimming, I didn’t compete until high school. I swam for three years and had a blast, but by senior year I was burned out (not just from swimming but from an extremely busy schedule and difficult classes) and not willing to swim for the team after our beloved coach retired and the golf coach subbed all season. I swam when I could in college, but it was more something I would sneak out and do when I was really stressed and needed some space or when the weather was amazing and I just couldn’t pass it up than a part of my typical training schedule.

Since I can’t run, I have been taking advantage of a nearby indoor pool (the perfect setup for my sunburn prone-skin and zero tolerance for cold). While I can’t kick… or really do anything other than gentle flip turns and swim with the pull buoy, it has been great to get back into the pool. It has helped me keep my sanity and remember that I am not one thing. I am not just a runner. I am not just a swimmer. I am not just a writer. I can be or do whatever I want. It was definitely a much needed reminder since not being able to run or olympic lift has left me reeling and desperately trying to figure out who I am outside of the things I love so much.

It’s been a month since the last time I laced up my shoes and went for a run, and I’m not handling it very well. I dream about running and wake up in the morning even more upset than when I went to sleep that I still can’t run. I get mad at other runners for “flaunting” their ability to run when I can’t. I obsess about what it will be like to run again, how will I start, how many miles will I run, will I have to run/walk intervals in the beginning?

I need to run.

When I start to obsess about something, especially running, going for a run clears my mind. I’m in the middle of a career transition as I’m calling it, and being able to run off some stress and sort out how I really feel about a potentially drastic change in my job would go a long way.

Instead I spend the time I would usually be running on exercises and stretches to help my feet/ankles heal. I’ve been using some of my new-found time to job hunt and read the Game of Thrones series.

I was finally starting to accept that for the time being, I cannot run.

But then, after months of needing them, I finally got new running shoes. Only they aren’t the sleek, minimal variety I had my eyes on. Instead they are bright stability shoes that all of the specialists I met with recommended for my tendonitis. It feels plain wrong to buy running shoes and confine them to being worn at work and driving. The good news? They have reflective marks on the toes to make sure my coworkers see me coming.

With at least two more weeks before I can FINALLY run again, I’m doing all that I can to keep myself sane. I’m channeling all of my energy that I want to put into running into all of my exercises and stretches so that when the first week of May comes I can finally get back out there.

I heard about the SeaWheeze half marathon a week before the race date last year, and since then I have been plotting how I was going to go. Running the half in Vancouver was the first item on my bucket list this year (along with leaving the country and doing my first destination race – 3 for 1!) and I couldn’t be more excited to go.

Image courtesy of SeaWheeze

After two weeks of pure torture, I finally got in! Now it’s time to get speedy, gain some distance, and destroy some hills. Maybe I can knock of one of my PRs from my bucket list as well.

I had hoped that when I was no longer running off to class and trying to live a life around studying and work that I would no longer have to schedule my day down to the minute. Unfortunately I have come to realize that the leisurely, I do whatever I want when I want-lifestyle isn’t going to happen. Between work, working out, and freelance projects I feel like I never get to sit around and do nothing. When people tell me they were bored I genuinely want to know what it was like.

My crazy schedule has led to me skimping on things that are important to me, like taking the time to make a healthy, interesting lunch that is filling and getting to bed on time. By the time the weekend comes around I’m so burned out from running around all week that I just want to lie on the couch and not get up for the entire day, which makes getting things done impossible and your friends and family upset with you.

Instead of giving into the intense desire to lounge all weekend, I have made myself choose a day of the weekend that I am going to use to make food for the rest of the week, do my laundry, finally finish the nagging tasks on my to-do list, etc. and leave the second day completely free of any pressure or tasks. So far (yes, it’s only been one weekend) it’s been working. My lunches won’t be random items from the fridge thrown together at 10:30 p.m. while I dream about my warm bed and I won’t be cursing myself my alarm goes off in the morning. Instead of putting everything off until Sunday night, I was able to have a full day where I didn’t worry or stress about getting something done. I actually relaxed on a weekend, what a novel idea!

It’s not very often that I feel like my training is in complete opposition to each other, but lately I feel like running and CrossFit are clashing horribly. I’ve been going to CrossFit three days a week and running three days a week for more than a year, but as one activity builds in intensity it throws off the other. With the CrossFit Open coming up fast, workouts have been brutal to prepare everyone who is planning to compete. And although I won’t sign up for the open, I plan to do all of the workouts, so I’m trying to hang in there with the increased weights, increased repetitions, etc., but I’m finding myself increasingly exhausted and unable to keep my schedule up.

I had the same problem when I was training for my last half marathon and trying to keep progressing in CrossFit at the same time. I hate to admit it, but sometimes my workout schedule turns against me. I am trying to come back from a winter mileage decrease while keeping up with everyone at the gym, and I have come to realize that what I’m doing isn’t working. Not only am I not able to increase my mileage (or even get my sore, concrete filled legs moving), but I’m not doing my best at CrossFit either.

These past two weeks have been eye opening. I missed runs to instead take a much much needed rest day, but even so I was too tired to run my long run at the speed I wanted to. At the gym there was a workout I would usually crush, and instead I got trampled on. It’s time to take a step back and decide what my priorities are.

While I think about some hard decisions (Do I cut back on running to prepare for the open? Am I willing to get three months behind in running right before jumping into half marathon training? Would I be that upset if I stepped back my weights at the gym and cared less about the open workouts?), I am going to do two important things this week: 1) listen to my body and ease off when I need to and 2) only allow myself a single double day of running and yoga (no more running and CrossFit on the same day). I am also going to make an extra effort to get at nine hours of sleep each night and eat well.

Given the choice between watching TV and reading a book, I almost always choose reading. There is something magical about getting lost in another world or learning something new through a book. And since I am named after a book, I guess it’s only fitting that I am enamored with reading.

Instead of listing all of the books I read this year and telling you why I liked them (or really didn’t in a couple cases), here are my top six must reads:

Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void – Mary Roach

By far my favorite book of the year. I read this before Gravity came out, and it ignited a minor space obsession. Roach made the history of space exploration interesting and the science behind it all easy to understand. I laughed through most of this book and felt the need to constantly share quotes from it (sorry family and friends). After reading this Roach claimed my current Literary Hero title. Even if science books don’t interest you, this one is worth it.

A Working Theory of Love – Scott Hutchins

Set near where I work and live, this story brought to life the tech culture of the Silicon Valley in a cleaver way. The main character, Neill, spends his days in a small start-up trying to make a computer more human by feeding it his father’s memories. Despite the apparent daddy issue, following Neill’s attempt to figure out what love really means and what his life is missing is captivating. This is not your Jane Eyre love story (although I will claim there was some insanity at play), it’s real and honest and quite frankly messy.

Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America – Barbara Ehrenreich

This book was on my list for years after I did a project on Ehrenreich in college. She is solidly on my list of writers I admire and women I hope to model myself after. She took a step back from her comfortable life to live on minimum wage in three different states. Her story, while written more than ten years ago, really hit home for me. I made minimum wage (and much less thanks to “stipends”) through college, and without the support of my family, I never would have made it. She shows what it’s really like to be the 3.6 million Americans who make federal minimum wage, or less, in the United States. And while when Ehrenreich embarked on this disturbing quest she was older than most minimum wage earners, with an average of of 35, she wasn’t all that much older. This is a great, eye-opening read.

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore – Robin Sloan

Anything that has to do with Google and conspiracies is impossible to resist. It has the suspense of The Da Vinci Code mixed in with Google’s mysterious operations and ubiquitous nature. It’s one of those books where you can’t put it down – you have to know how it ends.

The Night Circus – Erin Morgenstern

Less Harry Potter and more twisted love, this read made magic feel real in a very different way. The novel revolves around a competition between two young magicians that have more at stake than they realize. It’s a great balance of fantasy and characters that feel real.

The Homemade Pantry: 101 Foods You Can Stop Buying and Start Making – Alana Chernila

While I may not start making my own crackers, this book has inspired me to ditch as many store-bought items as possible. Her recipes are easy to follow and realistic – you won’t find any four-hour master pieces in here. I am dying to try to the pastries on the cover. The entire book is full of enticing, easy basics that make any meal even better.

Photos curtesy of: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

The rest here.