A downsize of any magnitude can be stressful. Too much stuff in not enough space is a recipe for tears and disaster. But living small doesn’t have to be a struggle. You can downsize without stress, arguing, or despair.

This year I took the plunge and massively downsized my living space. I went from sharing a spacious three bedroom, 2.5 bath, two-car garage townhouse with two roommates to sharing a one bedroom, one bath 275 sq. ft. apartment with my boyfriend.

While I already didn’t have a ton of stuff, my things were strewn about the entire place. It was also a huge jump in space – my old bedroom alone was easily half of our current living space.

*Our new tiny kitchen and half of the downstairs.

Tips to Downsize Without Stress

1. Get rid of things well ahead of time.

Over the past four years I have been reducing the amount of stuff in my life. But in the face of massively cutting my living and storage space, it was clear I had further to go.

Six months before I planned to move I started donating and selling things. This let me do a really deep clean and sit with my things before deciding if they were worth making room for. Around 90 percent of what I got rid of happened at least two months before I moved.

You don’t have to start six months out, but the more time you give yourself the more you will be able to get rid of and the less stuff you will have strewn about in your way after you move.

2. Be realistic.

We talked extensively about what living together in a small space would mean. We both knew we would have to live with a bit less, and we hypothesized (endlessly on my part) about what could be given up to make it work.

But before that, there was a discussion about how small we could really go and comfortably fit our stuff and our lives. I’m a firm believer that this such a thing as ‘too small.’ Find your balance and your limits.

*Half of my (largely empty) old closet on the left and our shared closet now on the right. Our closet is a quarter of my old one, and it’s our only closet.

3. Know where it goes.

I spent months imagining where everything could/should live in our tiny apartment. We have limited storage space, and I hate looking at piles of stuff and furniture. By the time I moved in we knew where 90 percent of our stuff was going to stay. It made a huge difference in making our space quickly livable, cutting out debates over best places, and preventing us from moving things over and over again in our small space.

4. Move slowly.

There’s nothing that will make you regret your decision more than seeing all of your stuff piled in the middle of a tiny space. Avoid the overwhelm and the panic.

I moved in a box at a time for a couple of weeks until I only had about a quarter of my stuff left. I cannot recommend this method enough if you are downsizing. All of my essentials went first, and I let the random bits that didn’t have a clear home languish at my old place for a bit to feel what it would be like to live without them.

It took the stress out of trying to pack and move and unpack all of my stuff at once. And the things left behind went straight into the donation bin at the end.

This is obviously not an option if you have to be in one place or out of another quickly, but it was perfect for my leisurely timeline. You can also mimic this by moving your essentials into one part of the room, packing up the main things a week before, or whatever system that will work for you.

5. Don’t buy anything.

Seriously. Of course you should feed yourself, but anything that isn’t a consumable (or a necessity like a mattress) should wait. When we first moved in together there were so many things that we thought would fix all of our problems.

But the longer we waited to purchase these “solutions,” the more often we realized we didn’t need them at all. We made do with what we had or reorganized to make things work.

Live in your new space for at least a month before you bring in new furniture, storage, or other purchases. This lets you get a sense of how you really use the space, if you really need the item in the first place, and what the real problem is.

I nearly bought a large shelving unit just to fit my mixer. But after (slowly, and more than once) reorganizing our kitchen I realized that I could make the mixer fit under the sink and we didn’t really have anything else to go on the shelves.

6. Everyone’s in charge of their own stuff.

Whether you are moving as a family or just by yourself, this seemingly obvious rule is important. It’s so easy to see what other people should get rid of, but actually downsizing your stuff can be a nightmare.

Put the responsibility on each person to declutter and move their own belongings (within reason). When my boyfriend and I moved in together we were careful to not interfere or lobby for things to be donated. We divided up our storage spaces equally and we were free to put whatever we wanted in our half.

The same is true if you are storing items for a family member. Those items are their responsibility and theirs to store when you move.

7. Have a why.

This is crucial! More than anything else, knowing why you are downsizing and being fully behind your decision will make your move much less stressful. Remind yourself anytime you start to feel overwhelmed or overworked why you want to live in a smaller space and the benefits you are going to get.

For me, downsizing meant that my boyfriend and I could live in a comfortable apartment in a neighborhood we liked without needing roommates. It meant I could freelance more comfortably and cut my rent significantly. Living small makes it easier for us to travel. Also, have a I mentioned we can fully clean the whole house in less than 30 minutes (heaven!).

These benefits made getting rid of the last bits of homeless things that I was holding on to relatively easy. It also made the hair-pulling moments something to laugh about and tackle head on.