Like all good addicts, I denied I had a problem for a long time. I checked my email before I got out of bed because “the light from my phone keeps me from falling back asleep.” I spent the entire work day in my personal and work email. I was constantly checking both inboxes – and getting distracted by the influx. I thought if I kept my inbox under 10 emails, then I clearly didn’t have an email addiction problem.

In March I am going to break my email addiction and be more productive and less scattered.

The Rules

I will check my email at 2-3 predetermined scheduled times throughout the day so I stop interrupting my work flow.

I will not check my email on my phone (unless I am for some reason away from my computer during one of those scheduled times and it can’t wait until I get home).

I will not check my email on weekends. Period. No email from Friday night at 6 p.m. until my first scheduled time on Monday morning.

The Desired Outcome

I am going to spend more time on the tasks that matter. I am also going to stop my habit of checking my email when I can’t do anything about any of the messages I receive. The weekend should not be spent worrying about tasks that can’t get done until Monday anyways.

My trial run this past week proved that this is going to be hard. Really hard. I’m not really breaking one habit, I’m breaking many. To make it easier, I am closing out of my inbox on my computer when I’m not supposed to be checking/responding. I also moved my email app off the main page of my phone and into a folder so I can’t click on it without thinking.

Want to join me but need a bigger push? Try this.

I can be a “control freak.” I can plan out my day in 15 minute increments. I love having a training plan that will take me 12-14 weeks into the future. I like knowing where I’m going to be tomorrow and two months from now.

The past few months have been a crash course in letting go of control.

My body runs the show right now with little input from the rest of me on the matter. I want to run and be healthy enough to hike. I have dream times I am desperate to run for. I want to get a running coach and get started today.

But my ankle has other things in mind, and right now, I’m just along for the ride.

Right now I have the incredible opportunity to pursue what calls to me. What I dream about at night. What I wake up excited to do.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful and excited for the opportunity, but I’m also reeling from the quick change. I don’t have a set routine right now. I don’t go to the same place and sit at the same desk every day for work. I don’t know what job or career will help me pounce out of bed every morning.

The choices start to be overwhelming. There are so many paths and it can be paralyzing to choose the right one.

Instead of sitting around feeling like my life is careening out of control, I’m taking it one step at a time. I’m letting go. I can’t control every little thing. I’m actively changing my life, but I’m also following the tides.

4 months. 16 weeks. 112 days.

One month for every week I thought I would be out.

It makes me laugh like someone who has lost their mind. Maybe I have.

I burst through the door two weeks ago when I finally graduated to the next Thera-Band. I have made everyone I know look at how close I am to being able to point my right foot as far as my left. I ask people to stand on one leg and throw a tennis ball with me without any sense of shame.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad as hell. I still get frustrated. I still curse and angrily announce that this is bullshit.

But it doesn’t consume my every thought.

I want to lift and run and feel like the athlete I am. I want to push myself. I want to feel the pain of a solid workout, not the pain of sleeping with torn tissues.

But I’ve come a long way to get here and I finally feel like I’m close. So close to getting back to my life.

It’s slow, and that’s okay. I can swim now almost normally. Heel raises while I brush my teeth are my new routine. I shamelessly hunt for scar tissue to break up when I have downtime. I can do a full yoga class. I can ride a bike (stationary or a short trip without my clips).

Rebuilding takes time. I’m happy with my progress, and incredibly hopeful for the next four weeks.

4 Months Post Severe Ankle Sprain

Here’s what I’ve been doing to heal up my ankle and improve my mobility:

1. Heel raises. I’m working toward being able to do these on one leg (a requirement for running). Right now I’m doing 3 sets of 20-25 reps, twice a day. When I first started I was doing 10. Just 10 reps a day.

2. Eversion and inversion with a Thera-band. I recently graduated to the green band (medium resistance) and I have rapidly progressed to 3 sets of 20 reps.

3. Cupping. Game changer. This has made all the difference for me. My physical therapist has been using cupping to target scar tissue and release tension in my tissues. The difference is insane. I’ve never had such a quick result. The best part? It’s winter so no one can see that I look like I’ve been in a fight with a giant octopus.

4. Scraping. My PT has been using gua sha to break up my scar tissue and improve the glide of my tissues. He even taught me how to do it to myself with an Asian soup spoon. Besides cupping, this gets me the best results (in terms of pain, stiffness, and mobility).

5. Arnica gel. Mostly to combat my battle wounds. But I’ll take any extra benefit I can get.

6. Activity. I’ve been slowly increasing my walking distance and speed. I finally walk at my normal pace again (which is apparently faster than most people if you listen to the complaints of my friends). I swim 2-3 times a week, walk 3-4 times a week, strength train at the gym 2-3 times a week, and do yoga once a week. I’m doing my best to stay active so I’m ready to run and really lift when my ankle is ready.

7. Rest. This time around I’m tuning in and really listening to what my body has to say. When my ankle is bothering me (more than normal), I am careful to put it up and stay there. I back off in workouts when it doesn’t feel quite right. I get extra sleep to make sure my body has time to generate new tissue and clean out all of the junk from the day before.

8. Eat! I strongly believe that food is medicine. I’ve been doing my best to get as many nutrients as possible. Anti-inflammatory foods like healthy fats and antioxidants have also been high on my list.

Fingers crossed I get to run when spring sets in for good!

This past month was a pretty big reading month for me. Since I still can’t run or bike or hike or do much outside of a swimming pool or my best zombie impression on the treadmill, I’ve had a lot of extra time to cuddle up with a book. (It sure makes the banishment from outdoor fun easier to swallow).

The Lost Boys Symphony I fell hard for this book. I’m a sucker for anything that makes me question what is reality, and this book fit perfectly. I couldn’t put it down. The descriptions of sounds were incredible, and it only made me question my own sanity a few times.

Binge Before you start, I know I live under a rock. I had no idea who Tyler Oakley was when I picked up this book. I requested it from the library because I had seen it everywhere and Goodreads thought I would like it. If you want a crazy look at what it’s like to be a YouTube/social star and one of the most prominent LGBTQ+ voices, it’s worth the read. Bonus feature: Likely not the intent, but it inspired me to think outside the traditional career box a bit more (don’t worry, I already know I’m not fit for YouTube stardom).

Domestic Violets Due to my own ironic timing, the main character Tom and I had more in common than I expected when I requested the book. I found myself rooting for him even when I wanted to give him a solid lecture. It helped immensely that we speak the same language – sarcasm.

Hatching Twitter I have feelings about tech companies and their tendency to create egotistical “celebrities.” And I try pretty hard to know very little about company gossip and drama.

With that said, I enjoyed this book, and I blame Nick Bilton for it. Why do you have to write so well, Nick? Halfway through the book Twitter (and the New York Times, not cool guys) spoiled quite a few things with their constant chatter about Jack Dorsey. The biggest lesson? Don’t start a company with your friends. Oh, and no job is permanent.

Growth Hacker Marketing Crazy short, this book made me see my past work experience (and one of my data-minded coworkers) in a completely different way.

Ignore Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to Creativity This book was a continuation of my creativity quest. Hugh MacLeod is another champion of keeping your day job and your creativity separate. Also, there are pictures.

Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be stress-free. Let go and get some calm back into your life with these tips.

De-stress in 10 minutes

Breathe. When I’m stressed I start taking shallow breaths that leave my heart fluttering and my pulse rising. I’ve had a lot of success practicing the breathing techniques I have learned in yoga. No matter where you are, you can reset by breathing in for a count of four and out for eight. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing until the tightness in your chest loosens and you’re ready to go back to your day.

Drink (a cup of tea). There’s something inherently calming about sipping a steaming cup of tea. If you can, try to just sit and drink your tea without rushing off to answer emails, play with your phone, or tackling your to-do list.

Move. Take a short walk, spend a few minutes in your favorite yoga pose, or plan your evening workout. Exercise has long been touted as a cure for stress. Get a quick hit with a little bit of movement (even if you don’t have time for a full workout).

Tidy. Spend 5 minutes picking up your workspace. Once you have everything, spend the next 5 putting it all away. You’ll feel better when your space is clear of the visual clutter, and you can focus on what’s important. (This is by far my favorite trick. You can set a timer if you are worried you will turn it into a full floor to ceiling procrastination-induced scrub down).

Delete. Clear out as many emails as you can. Just like your workspace, having a clear inbox can do wonders for your ability to relax and get stuff done.

Plan. Make plans for the weekend. It’s a nice reminder that this feeling is only temporary. Something to look forward to helps me get over paralysis and dive into what still has be done.

Wash. Clean out all of the dishes in the sink. Not only will have a clean kitchen, but cleaning gives your mind space to wonder and a hit of instant gratification for a job well done.

Grateful. Make a gratitude list. Take a minute or two to jot down what you are thankful for. The more specific and the longer the list, the better.

Re-assess. Is it really that important? Do you have to get it all done right now? More often than not the things I’m stressed about don’t really matter. It’s not actually do or die.

Prioritize. Nothing clears my mind like a precise plan of attack. Write out all of the things you have to do and rank them in order of importance. Even if you only get the most important thing done, you will feel better.

Embrace. Life is chaotic. Things never go according to plan. Of course there is extra traffic when you’re late. You will drop your toast down your nice shirt. Your boss always needs just one more thing.

Things happen. It’s all okay. Just let it happen. Let it go. Embrace it. It’s all temporary and you will feel more in control when you stop fighting all of the things you have no power over.

I got laid off.

I can’t say I didn’t see it coming to some degree, but I wasn’t really ready for it when it did.

When I signed up to work at a startup, I knew it was always a chance. It wasn’t a secret that there were exploding kittens hidden somewhere in the deck.

I strongly believe that opportunities come and go, and I always end up where I should. I learned so much from my job. It’s unbelievable. I didn’t realize just how much I had done in a little over a year and a half until I started to write my resume and reflect on the experience.

As much as I want to jump all in into the next thing right away, I’m taking some time to really dig into what I want to do next. I’m reflecting on what I loved about every job I’ve had so far and what I couldn’t stand. I’m trying to keep my mind open and invite all ideas.

And to be honest, I’m really looking forward to the change. I needed this push to get out of comfort zone and really imagine a whole new job. I am so full of hope and anticipation for the future.

I’m sad to leave my coworkers behind, but I’m so excited to see what’s next for me (and my coworkers who got laid off with me).

When I hobbled out of urgent care 13 weeks ago I told myself I still had plenty of time to heal up before my half marathon. I was still dreaming of a fast race and the chance to PR in February.

I finally accepted that I wasn’t going to make it to that race. Now I’m staring down the fact that I won’t even be running at all by then.

At three months, this is officially my worst injury. Sure I’ve had lingering tendonitis, but this takes the cake for my longest, slowest recovery yet. And there really isn’t anything I can do about it.

I’ve accepted that I have a severe ankle injury, and I need to treat it as such. I’ve stopped crying over the fact that I was coming off a huge PR and I was in the best shape I had been in in years. By now that fitness is loooong gone. I’ve also stopped thinking about how I’m going to get back there as soon as I can.

The past and the future are dangerous places. I end up feeling frustrated and hopeless when I dwell on them.

Lately I’ve been trying my best to focus on the present. Not even what I can do today, but what I can do right now. My ankle range of motion comes and goes. The pain hits and fades. I can do squats fine and then suddenly I can’t do them at all.

And it’s all okay. It’s all progress. It’s all something.

I can’t control my recovery. I can’t predict when I will be able to run. I can’t force my body to heal any faster (which isn’t to say I’m not trying everything I can).

I’m still an athlete. I’m still getting stronger. I’m certainly learning a lot. And soon, I will be able to build the base that will let me run and lift until my legs turn to jelly. But right now, I’m still digging the foundation. I’m getting my tendons strong and getting rid of all of the scar tissue in my way.

The Minsgame was the perfect start to the new year. I didn’t have to spend the first few weeks of January trying to clear out the clutter. Instead, I started the new year reflecting on the process and where I am now.

What I learned

1. I crave a clean, clear, organized space. I knew this already, but this project really solidified my goal.

2. It’s easy to fill a recently emptied space. Over Christmas break I really wanted to paint. When I went home for Christmas I got all of my old art supplies. And haven’t touched them since.

3. No matter how tough the decision, I haven’t regretted getting rid of a single item.

4. It’s hard to keep my dresser and book shelf tops clear, even after everything I got rid of. This clutter makes me feel unhappy and ironically spurs me to get rid of more things, never what’s piled up there.

5. Out of sight, out of mind. When I grabbed the overflowing bag of clothes I was going to sell at a local store, I couldn’t remember what was in it anymore.

6. Decluttering is time consuming! I spent hours throughout the Minsgame going through stuff, and I really only have my room, part of a bathroom, and a single kitchen cabinet. It was exhausting!

7. People are really supportive. My friends, family, and roommates were interested and encouraging. Even though they hadn’t heard of the Minsgame and they weren’t interested in doing it themselves (yet), they did what they could to help me.

8. I didn’t have to make it to the end to be successful. I heavily culled the things I owned and I transformed the game into something that challenged me while still being achievable.

9. “Decluttering” is a dangerous word. It makes me feel inadequate and like I’m not trying hard enough. Every time I hear it I think I should obviously keep getting rid of things. If other people are still removing possessions, I should be too! These 30 days really hammered home that I need to take a step back and be happy with what I have right now, even if it’s more than I absolutely need.

Stats:

I got rid of more than 268 physical items and thousands of digital files.

Moving Forward

I’m taking January off. No reading about decluttering, no daily digging through my drawers for something to rid of. Decluttering has become a type of obsession for me. It’s time to take a step back and finally reap the benefits – more room, a little extra cash, and more mental space.

I’m living with what I have this month. Nothing in, nothing out… okay, I’m not intentionally looking for things to toss out. To make this easier, no reading anything with “decluttering” or “organizing” on it. No stalking #minsgame. No Magic. Just embracing what I have and letting it be enough.

In case you missed it:

Week One
Week Two
Week Three
Week Four

Have you tried the Minsgame or something similar? How did it go?