It’s been a month since the last time I laced up my shoes and went for a run, and I’m not handling it very well. I dream about running and wake up in the morning even more upset than when I went to sleep that I still can’t run. I get mad at other runners for “flaunting” their ability to run when I can’t. I obsess about what it will be like to run again, how will I start, how many miles will I run, will I have to run/walk intervals in the beginning?

I need to run.

When I start to obsess about something, especially running, going for a run clears my mind. I’m in the middle of a career transition as I’m calling it, and being able to run off some stress and sort out how I really feel about a potentially drastic change in my job would go a long way.

Instead I spend the time I would usually be running on exercises and stretches to help my feet/ankles heal. I’ve been using some of my new-found time to job hunt and read the Game of Thrones series.

I was finally starting to accept that for the time being, I cannot run.

But then, after months of needing them, I finally got new running shoes. Only they aren’t the sleek, minimal variety I had my eyes on. Instead they are bright stability shoes that all of the specialists I met with recommended for my tendonitis. It feels plain wrong to buy running shoes and confine them to being worn at work and driving. The good news? They have reflective marks on the toes to make sure my coworkers see me coming.

With at least two more weeks before I can FINALLY run again, I’m doing all that I can to keep myself sane. I’m channeling all of my energy that I want to put into running into all of my exercises and stretches so that when the first week of May comes I can finally get back out there.

Injuries are every athlete’s worst nightmare. There is nothing like being told you can’t do something to make you miserable. I’ve been through all of the stages of grieving:

1. Denial: My feet are totally fine. Let’s increase my long run by a mile this week and then walk around for hours.
2. Anger: This includes general swearing and aggressively doing everything I’m not supposed to do because I’m mad I can’t do it. Screw it, I’m doing the box jumps. 
3. Bargaining: If I don’t jump at all at CrossFit, I can still run, right?
4. Depression: Lying on the floor instead of doing my rehab exercises… or anything else. I’m never going to run my half marathon fast enough if I never get to run. This is horrible.
5. Acceptance: My feet hurt and I have to wear ugly shoes. It won’t last forever… right?

I’ve been wearing my “moon shoes” (also known as my old, huge, white lunar glides from high school that seriously battle space boots for the largest, ugliest shoe title) almost exclusively. Every time the soles squeak against the hallway at work or someone gives me an odd look for dressing like Working Girl I am reminded of the stupid training mistakes I made to get myself here.

But my feet no longer keep me up at night or become my obsession while I’m driving. I took all of the last two weeks off from running and instead swam or did the elliptical. I finally went to my doctor and heard the words I was avoiding “no running,” at least until my feet are better. Hopefully after an appointment with a podiatrist this week I will have a solid rehab plan and a bit of a timeline as to when I get off the hamster wheel (and out of the pool) and start really running again.

Being injured is not my jam. There are days where I’m completely calm and rational about it and others where I feel like I am seriously loosing my mind and would do anything to get back to my regular training. For the days when I’m going crazy, I remind myself that every day I’m careful, every time I rest, the closer I am to being able to run again.

The stats:

Ran: 21.4 miles (most of them I probably shouldn’t have run… denial is a strong force)
Swam: 6-7 miles
CrossFit: 12 classes
Yoga: 4 fantastic power classes
+ an hour or more weekly of rehab exercises, foam rolling, and targeted stretching

What you can’t see:

Switching from running to swimming at the end of the month brought me back to my competitive swimming days, and it’s given me inspiration to consider doing a triathlon next year. It has also reminded me that there have been a lot of times in my life where an injury of some sort sets me back for a time, but I always come back and I always learn something while I’m away. So maybe I can’t run right now, but I can pay attention to my body and make it stronger and more prepared for when I do get to run again.

I’ve heard it hundreds of times “don’t increase your weekly mileage by more than 10 percent at a time,” and yet I’ve made the mistake more than once. This time I even read Lauren Fleshman‘s article in Runner’s World about the training mistakes she often makes, and I still did quite a few of them myself:

1. My biggest mistake: Increasing by more than 10 percent in a week (and more than that when comparing January and February. I ran more miles in three weeks of February than I did all of January.)
2. “Stick to The Plan. ALWAYS.” Check. In order to make sure I got in all of my runs this week, I forced in a run on a day I usually do CrossFit to make room for a hike on my usual easy run day. Why not just hike and count that as my easy run? Because I’m an idiot.
3. “Rest days are for babies.” See above.
4. “Be a hammerhead – if it’s not hard, it’s not doing anything.” Just when I thought I was getting better about this, I added speedwork. I did make a conscious effort to slow down my other runs so there was an actual difference in my easy runs, but a little late it would seem.

What did all of this get me? A mild case of plantar fasciitis. Time to take a few days off from running and spend all of the time I would have been running on stretching, rolling out my arches, icing (have I mentioned I hate ice?), and doing just about everything else I can to heal faster and relax the overly tight and irritated plantar fascia.

With six months to massively drop my half marathon time, I decided it was time to say hello to some speedwork. I had never done a tempo run before (or even run with a real watch, not just my phone). Any time I saw a tempo run on the training guide I was following I would just substitute it for a run of the same distance instead of doing what it said (in what seemed like another language). But this time I decided to actually click on the workout on my training plan and figure out what I was supposed to do.

The workout

1,600m easy warm-up
1,600m at or below my target half marathon pace (8:38)
800m jog at an easy pace (9:30-10 minutes/mile)
1,600m at 8:38
1,600m cool down

Total distance: 4.47 miles

Surprisingly, I actually had fun. I liked having a time to make every lap – it made my workout seem like it went really fast, even though I was seriously running in circles. It also brought me back to when I swam in high school and had splits to hit, which made me feel completely at home on the foreign track.

I made two plans before I started training, one that I thought was 100 percent do-able and another that seemed like a bit of a stretch. After being able to keep up with the second week of the harder plan without any problems, I’ve decided that’s the one I’m going to do from here on out. Hitting every split on the track last night cemented that I can knock out every workout and that my half marathon time goal is possible.

I hate being cold. It is truly awful, and it makes running in the winter an extreme challenge for me. I have always heard that you should start your run cool/cold to avoid overheating later as your warm-up, but that first .5 mile feels like pure torture. There are times where I can’t even make it out the door because of the thought of being cold, even if its only for 5-10 minutes.

When the temperature dipped into the mid 20s a couple of months ago, my appreciation for real cold-weather runners grew exponentially. I am the kind of person who balks at going outside when it’s less than 50, so learning to run on icy sidewalks was completely baffling to me (but good news, I didn’t fall). I finally learned what I meant to be chilly at the start, and thank yourself later. Here is what got me through:

1. I LOVE Runner’s World’s What to Wear Tool. Hot, cold – doesn’t matter. I use it any time I can’t make a decision on what to wear on a run (nearly every day). It’s made a huge difference between me over-dressing or stressing about being too cold. I just have to plug in a few variables and it gives me all of the answers I need. If only they made a similar tool for major life decisions.

2. Fleece headband/ear cover. Super cute, my fleecy monstrosity has made my ears toasty and makes it easier to regulate my temperature on a cold or windy run. The best part, when I get too hot I can wrap it around my wrist or toss it in a pocket.

3. I have embraced the rain. Some runs feel a bit like you are crying (can’t see because your eyes are blurry, water dripping off your face), but I’ve decided I kind of like the cooling aspect of the rain, especially when my raincoat is getting a bit too warm. It’s also wonderfully peaceful. With no one else out running, or really out at all, it’s easy to fall into my own rhythm and enjoy a great run. Check out my previous post on how I handle (or avoid) getting soaked.

4. Warm tights are my new best friend. After the skin on my legs burned during an entire run in sub freezing weather and afterward when I got into the shower, I decided it was time to invest in some winter running tights. Best. Decision. Ever. They are worth every penny.

5. I love zippers. Shirts that zip down to let in more air are an excellent solution to my chronic over-dressing to avoid the dreaded cold problem.

6. Did someone say ‘cuffin’? I know it’s a ridiculous term coined by Lululemon, but built-in mittens are great. I can flip them on and off constantly while running, and I never have to worry about losing them.

7. Hot showers and other rewards are crucial. Did you get soaked today? Did you go for a run when most people didn’t leave their house at all? Were you running before the sun even came up? Then you deserve a cookie (or whatever else you want to reward yourself with). In fact, I deserve a cookie for even thinking about running.

I heard about the SeaWheeze half marathon a week before the race date last year, and since then I have been plotting how I was going to go. Running the half in Vancouver was the first item on my bucket list this year (along with leaving the country and doing my first destination race – 3 for 1!) and I couldn’t be more excited to go.

Image courtesy of SeaWheeze

After two weeks of pure torture, I finally got in! Now it’s time to get speedy, gain some distance, and destroy some hills. Maybe I can knock of one of my PRs from my bucket list as well.

I’ve always loved the rain, and there is something about running in the rain that makes me insanely happy. I know the first thought of heading out and getting completely soaked from head to toe while you try to slog through some miles is an instant “no!” But instead of staying inside and being irritated that it rained all day, I decided to give it a try and get excited to go play in the rain.

I wore my Merrell barefoot running shoes to prepare to get wet. Instead of getting my more traditional running shoes soaked through I decided to forgo socks and live by the “wear sandals in the rain so your feet dry faster” strategy. To keep me warm, even when potentially drenched, I wore my warmest running tights and a long sleeve shirt under my waterproof running jacket. (Plus, how can a run not be fun when you are wearing purple tights?)

The whole run was a blast. I went a few minutes before the start of the Super Bowl and I had the streets to myself. While it was peaceful, it was also the most freeing run I’ve had in a while. I rapped to Eminem, jumped over puddles like a kid avoiding “lava,” and laughed like a maniac.

The whole day the rain went from a light shower to a full on downpour with no notice, so I wasn’t exactly sure how my plan would turn out. I got lucky that for the most part it was only a light drizzle. And when it did decide to really open up and show me what it’s like run in some real rain I couldn’t help but laugh. It was exhilarating to run with the rain hitting my face. Everyone who saw me probably thought I was crazy because of the huge smile on my face (and because I was voluntarily running in the rain, not because of the singing or leaping, obviously). I honestly can’t wait to do it again.