For years I have been dreaming about this day, but I always told myself ‘I couldn’t possibly actually do that.’ Well past self, I definitely did.

I haven’t used Facebook with any regularity since college. In the years after I would go on and catch up with people’s lives that I never see or talk to. I don’t know about you, but this left me feeling more like a stalker than a far away friend. Once the timeline updated and stupid videos that acquaintances shared started to take over my feed like virulent mold, I stopped logging in altogether.

It’s been at least two and a half years since the Facebook app was on my phone, but I still couldn’t quite bring myself to delete my account entirely.

Facebook Isn’t for Friends

My account was my ‘binders full’ of friends. I held on to it for so long because I had convinced myself that all of the people who were a part of my life in the past – elementary school classmates, high school friends and lab partners, family that moved away when I was child – were still relevant and connected to my current life. Deleting my account made me face the fact that I never interact with anyone on there. They give me a false sense of friendship when in reality we are strangers with each other’s names on a website.

Facebook has not built my friendships. If anything, it made me feel less connected to the people who are in my life. When I actually used Facebook I would follow along with what all of my high school classmates were up to in their new lives while my college roommates sat in the room with me.

I no longer buy into the idea that social media deepens our relationships or helps us connect meaningfully with new people. Of course you can make new friends via social media, but the real friendship building happens offline.

My Last Straw

This has been building for years. Facebook’s lack of response to harassment, trolling, and blatant hatred toward women was reason enough. I was sick and tired of Facebook using predatory ad practices to market me more things I don’t need. I am still tired of all of the all companies selling my data to other companies who want to get me to give them money. Each and every update to the service feels more and more like it’s for brands and people who profit from the site.

The election pushed me over the edge. From the widespread infection of truly made-up ‘news’ and false events to the hate groups that grew their faithful lackeys to the constant barrage of outrage and poorly thought-out rants, I was done.

Facebook’s complicity in Russia’s hostile attack on our election was my final straw. I want them to suffer for what they’ve done, and deleting accounts and rapidly deflating their user numbers is one way that I can contribute.

No more fake friends.

Twitter and Snapchat were deleted years ago for failing to hold my interest (and taking up way too much of my tiny 8Gs of space). My Twitter account hangs on by a thread due to career obligations (but my do I salivate about cutting it).

Instagram is still on my phone. And I need to do a lot better about using it meaningfully.

From here on out I want to be better at interacting with the people I follow on Instagram. Like many, I follow people who I admire or who inspire me. As long as that’s still true, I think they deserve space in my feed. For everyone else, it’s time I reached out and used Instagram as a way to build our connection, not just watch from afar. An engaged comment on a friend’s posts, a quick text to start a real conversation, or, even better, a request to hear about their recent stunning vacation in real life would go a long way towards what I’m really after – richer relationships in my real (a.k.a. offline) life.

The End of Social Media?

I can’t help but hope so. This article by Nick Bilton in Vanity Fair about the future of social media gave me a little bit of hope.

Looking for a little peace in the digital world? You might like my posts about my Distraction-Free Smartphone, Minimizing Social Media, and a hearty Digital Decluttering.