Big Magic

Life-changing. Inspiring.

It took me a while to get on the Big Magic wagon, and by the time I did I had been flooded with everyone else’s opinions on it. And despite my best efforts, my expectations might have been set a bit high.

Big Magic didn’t change my life forever. I’m not quitting my job tomorrow to pursue creative writing or to make art. 

What it did do is make me feel better about not quite knowing what I want out of my life. It made me realize that following an inkling of curiosity is good enough, I don’t need a deep burning passion that slights everything on fire except for The One thing I should be doing with my life.

And it did inspire me. It reminded me that it’s good to write, even if it’s total shit and no one ever reads it (and I wish I never read it). Getting the words out is progress. Researching weird things is progress. Figuring out what I want to do by realizing what I don’t want to be doing in any moment is progress.

Big Magic reminded me that often people who do have the creative jobs I’ve considered, like a magazine editor or writer, also feel like their work is dictated by someone else. They also struggle to find that creative spark, the energy that seems to come from within and outside of us at the same time. They too have to find an outlet, find something that is for them. Somewhere to let that inner voice free.

So for now I’m going to be content with not knowing. I’m going to let myself explore my own writing without worrying about how to turn it into a career or even something that could pay a single bill. Elizabeth Gilbert made a huge point that expecting your creative endeavor to support you financially is unfair, and it often suffocates your creativity and the joy you experience when making something.

I’d rather write because not writing is painful. I would rather “waste time” writing things that no one will ever see than hunt for freelance project after freelance project that I don’t love. I’d rather keep my day job (for now) while I explore my other possibilities.